Top 10 Secrets to a Happy Marriage

Sometimes life gets in the way and husbands don’t always find an opportunity to tell their wives how important they are to them. Here are 10 simple, but heartfelt ways to express how you truly feel.

Sometimes life gets in the way and husbands don’t always find an opportunity to tell their wives how important they are to them. Whether it’s the “problem of the day” or a hectic schedule, it can be challenging for men to find the right moment to tell their spouse how much they are loved and appreciated.

 

A. WORDS YOU SHOULD TELL YOUR WIFE EVERYDAY

 

If you are a husband who struggles with letting your wife know what she means to you, here are 10 simple, but heartfelt ways to express how you truly feel.

1. Let Your Wife Know She is Appreciated
Asian mother father son daughter family
A comment like, “You do so much for this family and it’s appreciated,” can go a long way to remind your wife of her incredible value.

2. Thank You

Saying thank you is one of the most wonderful ways to show gratitude. Thank her for the big things and the small or simply thank her for walking beside you.

3. Compliment Her Beauty
Women don’t always feel attractive, which makes it important for you to tell your wife that she still turns your head. Compliment her on her smile or how beautiful she is with the sun splashing on her face.

Remind Your Wife of Her Unique Talents and Gifts
Couple eating healthy
No one else can do what your wife can do. Remind her that she has been blessed with gifts that make her special and more than enough.

4. Praise Her

Praise your wife for being a loving mother and an incredible spouse.

5. You are Proud of Her

It is a wonderful way to lift her spirit and to help nurture her self-confidence.

6. Express a Need to Spend More Time With Her

Ask your wife out on a date or set time aside to do something she wants to do. Reaching for her hand while taking a walk is another way to let her know that spending time together is a priority for you.

7. You are There for Her Whenever It’s Needed

No matter how busy you are, tell your wife that you will always make time to listen, and to comfort.

8. Tell your Wife that She Completes You

This will help strengthen the bond of your marriage. Plus, it will show your wife how important she is to you.

9. Say ‘I Love You’ at Least Once a Day

There is no greater way to express your love than actually saying the words. Don’t wait until tomorrow. Tomorrow may be too late. Say, “I love you” today – say it right now.

 

 

B. NEVER SAY! THESE WORDS!

 

1. “Calm down. Relax!”

Several variations on this theme like “chill out,” made the point loud and clear. When our wives are upset about something, these phrases are not helpful. This can come across as belittling of their stress and the issues that cause the stress.

2. “What’s wrong now?”

Words like this, or, worse yet, like “What’s wrong with you,” strike a nerve because they treat our wives like they are a problem to fix or a machine to control. These phrases lack empathy and also risk demeaning our wives or the situations that concern them.

3. “What were you thinking?”

There’s a theme here. The ladies are trying to tell us something, men. Sometimes the words we use sound more appropriate for a prosecuting attorney or a kindergarten teacher. This phrase is belittling. It only serves to convey the assumption that very little thought, or good thought, went into her decision. It certainly does not build her up.

4. “What did you do all day?”

Here’s yet another example of how assumptions and ignorance can lead to disrespect and pain. When we say these condescending words, particularly to a mom who works full time at-home taking care of the kids, we show how little regard we have for their contributions inside and outside the home–especially compared to what we do.

5. “Is it that time of the month?”

I probably don’t need to explain this one too much. Men, whether it is “that time of the month,” or not, I would encourage you not to say it.

6. “I don’t love you anymore.”

Saying something like this pierces the heart of a woman and will not be forgotten. Remember–love is not just a feeling, it’s a decision. Choose to love your wife for life. [Tweet This]

7. “Are you going to eat all that?”

Ouch. When you say that, you’re basically telling your wife she is fat. Not a good idea.

8. “Get off my back…you’re always nagging me.”

Whether she’s nagging you or not, saying this is not going to make things better. The better course of action would be to sit down with her and explain, in a kind way, how the things she says bother you and how they make you feel.

9. “You’re just like your mom!”

This is usually said in a derogatory way. When said, you’re not only insulting her but also her mom and your mother-in-law.

Top 10 Secrets to a Happy Marriage

Relationship advice for newlyweds. There are many couples in happy marriages and you can bet they’re practising these Top 10 Secrets.

Secret #1
Have fun together.
Play a lot and laugh at each other’s jokes. Have fun together camping in your living room or playing silly games. Go ice skating or sledding or whatever you used to do as kid but this time bring your spouse!

“We are each other’s best friend.”
– Sarah Michelle Gellar (married to Friddie Prinze Jr.)

Secret #2
Give more than you take.
It is better to give than to receive. Be thoughtful and practice random acts of kindness. Surprise your partner every once in a while, even if it’s only dinner.

“You can’t sit back. My husband and I have made the choice that our marriage is the most important thing to us. We respect what we have and understand how we need to feed it.”
– Faith Hill (married to Tim McGraw)

Secret #3
Speak their love language.
Learn your spouse’s love language and practice it. Dr. Gary Chapman has found 5 different love languages: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.

“We cannot rely on our native tongue if our spouse does not understand it. If we want them to feel the love we are trying to communicate, we must express it in his or her primary love language.”
– Dr Gary Chapman (Author of The 5 Love Languages)

Secret #4
Put the other first.
Practice selflessness and support each other—​always! Connect with your spouse once a day, once a week and once a year!

“Being in a long marriage is a little bit like that nice cup of coffee every morning – I might have it every day, but I still enjoy it.” -Stephen Gaines

Secret #5
Brag about your spouse.
Lift them up in front of your friends. Start bragging about your husband or wife. Boast about your marriage. Profess your love for your husband or wife, publicly.

“I love being married to my wife—​she’s the best thing that ever happened to me.”
– Matt Damon (married to Luciana Barroso)

Secret #6
Keep the romance alive
Go on dates. Light candles. Hug and kiss every day. Once in a while, make your bedroom like a fancy hotel with candles, lots of pillows, and flowers.

“We keep a lot of candles in our bedroom. I want us to always stay honeymooners.”
– Clint Black (married to Lisa Hartman Black)

Secret #7
Talk about it
Communicate your thoughts and feelings. Connect with your spouse side to side, face to face and nose to nose.

“We talk a lot. Sometimes people hear us talking and think we over-talk situations but communication is everything.”
– Will Smith (married to Jada Pinkett Smith)

Secret #8
Fight Naked
If you fight naked, then you won’t be mad at each other for very long. Separate to cool off. Change your expectations. Move toward your spouse with tenderness.

“A great marriage is not when the perfect couple’ comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.”
– Dave Meurer (Author of Daze of Our Wives)

Secret #9
Forgive Easily
Be quick to say you‘re sorry and don’t harbour grudges. Think the best of each other.

“When you see a married couple waking down the street, the one that’s a few steps ahead is the one that’s mad.”
– Helen Rowland (American journalist and humorist)

Secret #10
Keep your promise.
Marriage is a commitment. Always remember the reasons you wanted to spend the rest of your life with your spouse.

“So it’s not gonna be easy. Its gonna be really hard. We’re gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, every day. You and me … every day.”

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